I took a week off from my day job the week before last, since I work seven days a week. It was time for time-off, even though I still worked for the paper on my regularly schedule.

Undaunted by the recent spike in temperatures, I intended to complete my old weekly riding goal of 100 miles a week, but I ended the first week only riding a paltry 12 miles. I decided to make up for it by planning a 30 miles ride to a friend’s house in Collierville from my apartment in Midtown, if for no other reason than just to say I did it.

I don’t have a sleek road bike yet, so I still ride my early 2001 edition Specialized Hard Rock mountain bike, which wouldn’t look so old if it didn’t have such an abusive owner. Not that I don’t do regular maintenance on it. After seven years of hauling anywhere from 250 to 300 pounds through the streets of Memphis and the trails at Stanky Creek and Shelby Farms my poor bike just ain’t too pretty anymore.

The most challenging aspect to consider when taking off on such an expedition is the route. I live right off Union in the heart of Midtown. My friend lives off Peterson Lake, close to Collierville Elementary. While I used to brave Poplar and Union in my early days of cycling, I’ve tried for the last few years to use neighborhoods and side streets to get to where I need to go. There are several advantages to this besides avoiding cars, and it’s a great way to see the city. You avoid traffic, trees and house reduce the amount of wind and there is a smaller chance of running into broken beer bottles and other refuse tossed onto the streets. You might even find a shortcut or escape route from the gridlock of your daily commute.

- Going East means going uphill
- People in this town love to throw glass bottles out their windows
- Winchester is both busy and windy as hell
- If you don’t drink Gatorade an hour or so in, you will start to crash - hard
- Motorists will either almost hit you or almost hit another motorist to avoid you
- Avoid houses under construction, no telling what your tires will pick up
- Collierville is not right next to Germantown. It was 14.5 miles from Midtown to Germantown Road at Park ; it was another 15 miles from there to my friend’s house off Peterson Lake

It took me 2 hours and 15 minutes to make the ride on my mountain bike, which is respectable considering I was going less than 10 mph for the last 5 miles or so. Tell me about a ride that pushed you or turned out to be more than you expected.

I posted a story this morning about Kimbo Slice’s fight last night on CBS and decided against using this picture from the Associated Press on the story linked to the home page. The caption, credit, and editors note from AP are as follows:

“** EDS NOTE GRAPHIC CONTENT ** Kimbo Slice, right, throws a punch to the the ear of James Thompson of Manchester, England that knocks him to the canvas for a TKO in the third round of their EliteXC heavyweight bout at the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J. Saturday, May 31, 2008. (AP Photo/Rich Schultz)”

I first saw Kimbo Slice on the Miami-based “Reality Kings” porn sites several years ago. You’ll forgive me if I don’t provide a link. Strangely, those porn sites posted the now-famous videos of Kimbo fighting other bouncers from the Miami area. You can find them on YouTube. Fighting is probably not the right word, since Kimbo dominated his opponents in those early parking lot fights.
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Hard Attack, Sirius satellite radio’s heavy metal station, has ranked the top 100 metal songs of all time and put Slayer’s “Raining Blood” at the top.

I would put Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” on top, followed by “Angel of Death” by Slayer, which was probably the most famous Slayer song until Guitar Hero III put “Raining Blood” in the forefront. Other than that change, though, I can’t really argue with the top 5 other than the order.

The top 20 are listed below, but you can see the entire list here.

1. Slayer: “Raining Blood”
2. Black Sabbath: “War Pigs”
3. Metallica: “Master of Puppets”
4. Pantera: “Walk”
5. Iron Maiden: “The Trooper”
6. Megadeth: “Holy Wars”
7. Motorhead: “Ace Of Spades”
8. Anthrax: “Caught In A Mosh”
9. Sepultura: “Refuse/Resist”
10. Judas Priest: “Screaming For Vengence”
11. Black Sabbath: “Black Sabbath”
12. Metallica: “One”
13. Pantera: “Cowboys From Hell”
14. Slayer: “Angel Of Death”
15. Megadeth: “Peace Sells”
16. Iron Maiden: “Number Of The Beast”
17. Pantera: “Cemetary Gates”
18. Metallica: “For Whom The Bells Toll”
19. Testament: “Into The Pit”
20. Anthrax: “I Am The Law”

Depending on who you ask, “Master of Puppets” or “Reign in Blood” are the two best metal albums of all time. Personally, I fall on Metallica’s side, because

a.) I think “Master of Puppets” is a better overall album
b.) It has more to “say,” for whatever that’s worth
c.) “Reign in Blood” scared the crap out of me when it first came out in 1986

I remember walking through Camelot record store at the Raleigh Springs Mall (don’t laugh - back in the day Raleigh Springs Mall was THE SPOT) and seeing the cover to “Reign in Blood” and freaking out. I was 9 and afraid touching the album would burn my fingertips.

Any thoughts on Hard Attack’s ranking of the greatest metal songs? Any albums you never thought you would listen to but later found out you loved? Click the comment button and let’s talk about them.

Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto 4, celebrated by fans and vilified by politicians, was released April 29th to universal acclaim and a $500 million opening day, beating last year’s $400 million record set by Bungie’s Halo 3.

I’m not a GTA expert, but I did play GTA III in 2001 and GTA: San Andreas briefly in 2003. I was excited by the prospect of GTA on the newest generation of hardware, and, after reading all the rave reviews, I bought it for the PS3.

Let me say a few things about the GTA series. It is probably the best example of what people in the gaming community call “sandbox” design. “Sandbox” design is described by some as non-linearity, i.e. that you, the gamer, does not have to follow a set path to the end of the game. You can go and do whatever you want. Oblivion on PC was another good example. While you have missions or quests that you can complete and follow in order to follow myriad of plot lines, you can also do nothing at all.

For me , the “sandbox” design is a little more specific than that. For me the sandbox only means that everything in the game can be manipulated and follows the rules of the universe in which the game takes place. The Halo series on XBOX and Crysis on PC are good examples where, although linear, follow certain rules of physics and behavior that result in some interesting gameplay opportunities. The sandbox design is what allows warthog flipping and 3,000 barrel explosions.

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Memphis restaurants are not known for their outstanding customer service. To some, bad service is even a point of local pride. I used to be in those ranks, but I have to say I’ve finally had enough.

I recently walked into a restaurant that I visit about once a month and waited 25 minutes before even being acknowledged, and that was just the beginning. Service has declined the last several times I’ve been there, and I like the food, but the food quality has finally dipped below my tolerance for the wait staffs’ attitudes.

I’m not a prima donna or anything. I don’t expect to be waited on hand and foot. Ambiance, customer service and all of that are a distant second for me to the actual food. I don’t even want the servers to shower me with those fake “customer service” slogans that their managers force out of them. All I want is efficient service from people who have some idea of what the hell they are doing.

A professor of mine thought that everyone should have to work in the service industry for at least one year, so they would get a better idea of how poorly we treat one another. People are a-holes. They want the world for nothing. I’m sensitive to this. I empathize. I want to smack the people at fast food restaurants that expect to be treated like royalty for buying a crappy $5 combo meal.

I believe, strongly, that you get what you pay for, and you are not entitled to throw a fit in a Wendy’s because they put ketchup on your burger when you asked for mayonnaise. Either hand it back and make them fix it or shut the eff up and eat it. That’s it.

I even subscribe to the belief that you should always tip, at least 15% no matter how poor the service, because the job is tough and putting up with people deserves at least that.

My only experience in the food industry came many years ago when I worked at Taco Bell. I wasn’t the sickeningly sweet person who asked if you needed some extra of this or wanted to try a such-and-such today. I was polite but not too friendly, offered my advice when asked, made sure you got what you ordered and received the proper change. That’s all I ask in return. I’ll take competence over congeniality every day of the week.

But for the love of god, Memphis restaurant owners, don’t act like you’re doing me a goddamned favor by being open. Like my life is somehow better because you let me in the door and will, eventually, maybe, grudgingly bring me my food and drink refills.

Anyone still buy it?

I own a bridge you might be interested in.

I wrote this article yesterday about a thwarted purse snatching at the Bookstar in Poplar Plaza.

I’ve received a couple of emails asking for more information on the guy who tried to seal the purse, which I’ll work on and hopefully have some updates soon.

While running through the cop checks this morning, one of the officers in felony response told me what most impressed him when he showed up at the scene that night.

He said that though a crowd of no less than 10 people chased Joseph Stewart, caught him and held him for the cops, no one hurt the man. He said they just held him there, and once the cops showed up most of the Samaritans just wandered off, returning to their Friday night/Saturday morning.

A few people stayed and gave an account of what happened to the officers, but no one turned Billy Badass and roughed old boy up, even though many of them were probably hopped up on caffeine and adrenaline. Think about that the next time you read something about Memphis being No. 1 in the country in violence.