Well, the campaign season is almost over. And that’s a good thing - because Sarah Palin and Tina Fey really are starting to look indistinguishable to me.

Seriously. I glanced at some newspaper photo about the season premiere of "30 Rock" the other day and wondered how Palin was finding time to manage an acting career on the side.

Now, some people criticize the media for treating elections like sporting events. But come on. In elections, they do keep score and at the end of the competition, somebody wins and somebody loses.

So in a tribute to sports columnist extraordinaire Geoff Calkins (who wisely picked my beloved Florida Gators to pound the Georgia Bulldogs this weekend) I’m doing my own political version of his picks column.

Dolores Gresham vs. Randy Camp, Tennessee state Senate District 26: Maybe it’s the time of day I watch TV, but ads from this race seem to be all over the airwaves. My least favorite ad of the whole political season is one of Camp’s, in which he’s basically telling people to vote for him because he has two beautiful daughters and likes showing off photos of his grandkids. The pick: That ad is so cheesy, I have to pick against Camp on general principle.

Myles Leifer vs. Bill Mullins vs. Scott Ferguson, Oakland mayor’s race: This race heated up this week when someone published an ad in the Oakland newspaper, accusing Leifer of falsely claiming to be a Navy SEAL. The pick: Mullins, the incumbent, is going to club Leifer like a baby you-know-what.

Ronnie Musgrove vs. Roger Wicker, U.S. Senate race in Mississippi: It’s not just Palin and Fey. These two guys, who are also airing ads all the time, really look alike. And they seem to think alike, too. The difference? Musgrove’s a Democrat and Wicker’s a Republican. The pick: Wicker, because being a Republican still counts for something in Mississippi.

Greg Davis vs. Travis Childers, First District Congressional race in Mississippi: After getting whipped by Childers in a special election last spring, Davis has toned down the nastiness of his campaign and focused on winning the hearts and minds of district voters who live outside of DeSoto County. The nice guy approach and the appeal to rural voters should help. So should the fact that the First District is still predominantly Republican. The pick: Davis, as long as he’s willing to don a pair of overalls and ride a tractor every now and again.

Lamar Alexander vs. Bob Tuke, U.S. Senate race in Tennessee: If plaid was ever in style, it went out of style long ago. Yet it seems to still work for Alexander, whose news releases even have a plaid design in their headings. The pick: Alexander, but credit Tuke for wisely not trying to counter Alexander’s fashion statement by wearing polka dots.

Steve Cohen vs. Jake Ford, Ninth Congressional District race in Tennessee: Jake Ford’s latest campaign ploy is to put up signs urging people to vote for "N.J. Ford" - using the initials he shares with his well-respected late grandfather. The pick: Cohen, although at least Ford was smart enough not to change his name to Nikki Tinker.

Marsha Blackburn vs. Randy Morris, Seventh Congressional District race in Tennessee: Voters in this conservative-leaning district have been breathlessly saying "Oh, Marsha!" for years. The pick: Blackburn, although Morris might have fared better if he changed his name to Jake Ford.

Kemp Conrad vs. Arnett Montague vs. Paul Shaffer vs. John Willingham, Memphis City Council District 9, Position 1: This supposedly nonpartisan special election to replace Scott McCormick has taken on a decidedly partisan tone, with Republicans rallying around Conrad and Democrats rallying around Shaffer. The pick: Buoyed by the strength of a late endorsement from talk show host David Letterman, Shaffer squeaks out a victory.

Memphis City Charter Commission Referendum No. 1, on term limits: Rumor has it that if term limits are approved, former Shelby County commissioner Walter Bailey will come out of retirement to file a lawsuit to stop them. The pick: Term limits will be approved, then Memphis Mayor Willie Herenton will pull a page from New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s playbook by asking the City Council to make an exception in his case.

Memphis City Charter Commission Referendum No. 5, on instant runoff voting: It seems like Shelby County Commissioner and instant runoff voting fanatic Steve Mulroy has been trying to explain this concept to voters forever. The pick: The instant runoff amendment will fail, allowing Mulroy the opportunity to spend four more years trying to explain the amendment before it appears on the ballot again.

Barack Obama vs. John McCain, U.S. President: This election is supposed to be all about jobs, and look what McCain has done for the career of Joe the Plumber, who this week had to hire his own publicist. The pick: Since McCain never mentioned my name once in any of the debates, I’m going with Obama.

PETA — the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals — has targeted Pierre Henderson-Niles with a press release, encouraging him to become a vegetarian as he tries to lose more weight.

Here’s the copy of the letter supposedly sent to him, which makes a really offensive (and somewhat hilarious) reference, comparing the amount of “grease required to tame Coach Calipari’s hair” with “greasy chicken and ribs making people fat and causing heart disease.”

While I’m all for healthy lifestyles, I think PETA should have better things to do than worry about what PHN is eating these days. Isn’t there a future live animal mascot to protest somewhere in the world?

“Credit,” “Default,” “Swap,” and “Rerun.”

Despite the best efforts of the staffs of both “Planet Money” and “This American Life,” I still don’t quite get the whole concept of credit default swaps. I listened to their collaboration, “Another Frightening Show About the Economy” at least four times, trying to wrap my brain around it, and it just won’t take.

As of today, you can make that five times. “All Things Considered” replayed Alex Blumberg’s explanation of the concept as I was driving home from work. I paid close attention (which resulted in me turning a block later than usual), but I still didn’t quite get it down.

But thanks, NPR, for reminding me again that I can’t understand this. I can’t even tell you where I go wrong, where I begin to lose understanding. I just don’t get it. The helpful “buying insurance on a house you don’t own” metaphor doesn’t quite work for me either. Maybe because we rent.

ShareThis

You’ve heard of the Twelve Days of Christmas? Now, for the third straight year, The Bloodshot Eye counts down the Thirteen Days of Halloween with reviews of recently released All Hallow’s Eve-appropriate DVDs, each day — more or less, as time permits — through Oct. 31. (Actually, at this rate, I better amend that to ”beyond Oct. 31.”)  

In “Thirst,” a revisionist vampire film from 1979, a self-described “superior race of people” known as the Brotherhood operates a factory “farm” of zoned-out human “blood cows,” who occasionally are herded into a clean, white, high-tech sort of barn. There, these “donors” are hooked up, at the neck, to what essentially are milking machines.

The blood from these ”exsanguinated” victims is packaged in cartons, like milk, and distributed around the world to the members of the Brotherhood. “Vampires – we dislike that word,” says one rather snooty blood-drinker. “The Brotherhood is something far nobler than peasant superstitions give it credit for… There’s nothing supernatural about us.”

“We’re simply a superior race of people,” chimes in a companion. “It’s the ultimate aristocrat act.”

“Thirst” is one of four worthwhile horror movies from Australia and New Zealand reissued Tuesday on DVD by Synapse Films, a Michigan-based company that specializes in horror, science-fiction, cult, genre and independent films. (The four films previously were available in out-of-print editions from Elite Entertainment; the Synapse discs carry over the commentary tracks and the other bonus features found on the earlier releases.)

If movies produced in Italy about frontier gunslingers are called “Spaghetti Westerns,” can we refer to chillers from Down Under as “Marsupial Horror,” even if they don’t feature mutant kangaroos or rampaging wallabies? Possibly the reason a corny phrase like that hasn’t entered the lexicon is that there just aren’t very many antipodean horror movies to begin with; these four seem to exist primarily because Melbourne-born producer Antony I. Ginnane realized one of the only sure ways to get international distribution for Australian product was to work in the one genre that transcends barriers of language, politics and sometimes even culture.

Probably the best of these film from Oz is 1981’s “Strange Behavior” (a.k.a. “Dead Kids”), directed by Michael Laughlin and written by Laughlin and Bill Condon. Two years later, Laughlin and Condon would reteam for an extraterrrestrial-themed semi-companion piece, “Strange Invaders”;  16 years after that, Condon would win an Oscar for his script for “Gods and Monsters,” inspired by the last days of “Frankenstein” director James Whale. Condon also would be Oscar-nominated for his adaptation of the musical, “Chicago.”

Set in smalltown Illinois but shot in Auckland, New Zealand, “Strange Behavior” is a clever combination of teen slasher film (one killer wears a Tor Johnson mask), science-fiction satire and youth paranoia thriller (once more, evil adults are exploiting young people like — well, almost like “blood cows”). The cult-ready cast includes Louise Fletcher, Fiona Lewis, Dey Young (“Rock ’n’ Roll High School”) and veteran character actor Charles Lane.

“Thirst” also is excellent. Chantal Contouri stars as a young woman recruited by the Brotherhood because she is a descendant of Elizabeth Bathory, the infamous “blood countess” of 16th-century Hungary. (”A family as noble as hers, I’m sure the old thirst will not have died out,” says one optimistic blood-drinker.) The movie hasn’t lost its relevance, not just because “aristocrats” still thrive by draining the “blood” of the working class (note the recent Wall Street bailouts) but because the Brotherhood’s “farm” makes even more sense in the era of AIDS (in the film, the “vampires” cite hepatitis and malaria as reasons to drink from screened “donors” rather than from random victims). The movie reveals its unorthodox intentions in its very first scene: A “vampire” awakens in her coffin, but instead of a drop of blood oozing from her mouth, a tear rolls from her eye.

The oddest Oz horror is director Simon Wincer’s “Dark Forces” (originally known as “Harlequin”), an update of the story of Rasputin with Robert Powell (resurrecting the mysterioso charisma he brought to the title role of Franco Zeffirelli’s “Jesus of Nazareth”) as one Gregory Wolfe, a faith healer/magician who insinuates himself into the home of a rising politician (David Hemmings) by apparently saving the man’s leukemia-stricken son (Mark Spain) and seducing his wife (Carmen Duncan). Despite a few rather crude special effects (Wolfe cuts a pigeon in half by levitating and spinning a drum cymbal and spinning it through the air like a buzzsaw), this is not exactly a horror movie; it’s more like an art film or allegory of faith and power, window-dressed with genre elements to give it some exploitation appeal.

The earliest of these films, “Patrick” (1978), is sometimes referred to as Oz’s answer to “Carrie” and “The Fury.” Robert Thompson stars as the title patient, a comatose young man whose bedridden state hasn’t paralyzed his telekinetic powers. The film’s success brought director Richard Franklin to America, where he helmed one of the most underrated sequels ever, “Psycho II” (1983).

All these movies are somewhat leisurely paced, and distinguished by an adult sensibility that one also typically finds in British productions. Even the teen-party scene in “Strange Invaders” feels a world away (which it is, literally) from the similar sequences in American slasher films.

Well, you guys are in for a treat tonight. Angela Moon has a nice steely riesling picked out and sushi chef Marisa Baggett will answer our questions about sushi as we drink and talk about the wine. Pick up sushi at your favorite place or make it yourself; whichever, Marisa suggests something with crab. See you back at 7!

If Jake Ford were a product, he would still be working on his branding identity.

Ford, who’s challenging Steve Cohen for the Ninth Congressional District seat on Tuesday’s ballot, didn’t have much luck against Cohen two years ago.

In their first race, Ford’s campaign seemed to be focused on taking advantage of his politically popular family’s last name, but voters didn’t buy it.

So this year, Ford has put up campaign signs using his initials – N.J. Ford.

N.J. Ford is a familiar name in Memphis since Jake’s late grandfather also went by those initials. The grandfather founded the funeral home that family members still operate today.

If this gambit doesn’t pay off, perhaps Jake Ford will consider having his first name legally changed to Henry before the next election.

Or, perhaps better still, he could change his name to Steve Cohen. That name’s a proven winner at the ballot box.