I had to laugh as I was reading through the Memphis City Council’s committee meeting schedule for next Tuesday.

The last item scheduled for discussion on the public safety and homeland security committee’s agenda is a resolution "discouraging police brutality."

Now, I don’t want to be accused of sensationalizing anything or taking anything out of context.

I’m quite sure the actual wording of the resolution is quite different.

I’m sure at the very least, the resolution will say that police brutality is "strongly discouraged."

By the way, if you only read my interview with Fred ‘The Hammer’ Williamson here, on The Bloodshot Eye, and not in its condensed newspaper-edition version at The Commercial Appeal’s GoMemphis.com website, you probably haven’t heard the Hammer sound bites I recorded.

So if you want to actually hear the “Yo, this is The Hammer” cell phone message alluded to at the top of the story, you can find it here, in MP3 form.

A friend brought this to our attention:

Unlike 34,368 other Twitter users, we don’t follow @hotdogsladies; he seems far less inclined to shake the haters off than the fans, but once in a while, he’ll go on an insight spree.

This is pretty awesome, but we’re still not following.

Besides, it’s inaccurate. Robert Siegel doesn’t host All Things Considered on the weekend. Every other program he mentions is a weekend program.

Thus concludes the daily conformation of my innate nerdiness.

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Well, it looks like John McCain finally pulled out the heavy artillery.

In a television advertisement that began airing yesterday, McCain compared rival Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.

"He’s the biggest celebrity in the world," an announcer in the ad says, as viewers see quick photos of Hilton and Spears cut into scenes from Obama’s speech to 200,000 in Berlin last week. "But is he ready to lead?"

Maybe it’s just me, but that ad comes across as making McCain seem just a tad jealous of Obama.

But there’s an easy way McCain could remedy the situation. He should fight fire with fire by picking either Hilton or Spears (or both?) as his vice-presidential running mate.

Before you call me crazy, consider these advantages to a McCain-Hilton/Spears ticket:

1.) McCain’s been complaining about Obama getting the bulk of the media attention in this race. That wouldn’t be a problem if he had his very own celebrity running mate.

2.) One of the knocks against McCain has been his age. Adding Hilton and/or Spears would provide some balance to the Republican ticket in that regard.

3.) Also, adding Hilton or Spears to the ticket would provide gender balance.

4.) Picking Hilton and/or Spears would finally make people forget all about George H.W. Bush’s decision to pick Dan Quayle as a running mate.

5a.) Hilton’s succinct and catchy catchphrase ("That’s hot") would almost certainly play well in debates.

5b.) After years of honing her driving skills to evade the paparazzi, Spears could fill in for McCain’s motorcade driver in a pinch.

I could go on and on, but I’m sure I’ve already sold you on this idea. If McCain’s worried about his standing in a celebrity-crazy culture, he knows what he needs to do.

Jackson heads west for summer vacation

Jackson Ryan Byrd, 14 is pictured at the Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, CA in June. While there, Jackson, his sister Paris Byrd and family friend Brianna Boone took in the sights. In addition to visiting the Exploratorium and Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum, they saw soccer star David Beckham in Union Square, took the train to Palo Alto to tour Stanford University then toured the University of California at Berkeley before taking the coast Starliner train to Portland, OR to visit the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, the Pearl District and several gardens. Jackson and Paris were accompanied by their grandparents Sonny and Avalon Robinson.

MCS teacher Fernando Branch travels to China to study

Southwest Memphis resident and Sheffield High School geography chair and social studies teacher Fernando Branch (kneeling, front left) was among a group of teachers selected to participate in the Confucius Institute, a nonprofit, public institute with the goal of promoting Chinese language and culture and supporting local Chinese teaching internationally through affiliated Confucius Institutes around the globe. The University of Memphis is home to the only Confucius Institute in Tennessee and the first in the Mid-South. While there, Branch gained firsthand knowledge about the culture of China through five weeks of studying and traveling to historical Chinese sites. Of the trip Branch said, "It was an out of this world experience and an excellent teaching tool to enhance our district's teachers understanding of the Chinese culture."

Siblings bond at beach

Billy Marsh, 4 spends some quality time at Seagrove Beach, FL with his sister Jasmine Hudgins, 18 before she leaves for her freshman semester at UT-Knoxville in August.

Briarcrest's Anna DeWitt graduates, travels to Iceland

In June after graduating from Briarcrest High School, Germantown resident Anna DeWitt and her father Charles DeWitt visited Iceland where Journey to the Center of the Earth was filmed. Anna is pictured near the edge of the water at the natural geyser fed Blue Lagoon, a spa just outside of the city of Reykjavik. Charles said, "While we were there the sun only set for about five minutes and it never got dark at all."

16 days of sizzling hot fun in the sun

For vacation this year, Germantown residents coach Jerry Johnson Sr., Pam Johnson, Jerry Jr. and Jorr'don (front) enjoyed eight sizzling hot days at Virginia Beach, July 8-16, and eight additional sizzling hot days in Orlando, FL, July 17-23. Pictured at Magic Kingdom at the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, the Johnson's agreed one of their most favorable attractions was the Arabian Night dinner show, a magical tale of love and triumph featuring 60 horses from around the world, state-of-the-art lighting and special effects, and more.

Couple's cruise was "a great four days!"

Memphians Grifflon and Abeni Randle took a four-day, three-night cruise July 11-14 to Freeport, Grand Bahamas. The couple is pictured on the Discovery Sun cruise ship departing the Bahamas. "It was a great four days," said Abeni.

Bukeavich's travel to Kauai for anniversary

For their 25th anniversary, Pete and Lisa Bukeavich traveled to Kauai July 7-17. Pictured at the Waimea Canyon overlook drive with the Napali Coast and Pacific Ocean in the background, the Bukeavich's found their perfect vacation by researching online.

Dr. Zinkus and wife receive a travel gift from children

Dr. Peter and Cathleen Zinkus, pictured at Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada, celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary with a trip given to them by their children - Dr. Angie Zinkus (Eads), Michael and Emily Zinkus (Cordova) and Dr. Tim and Ashley Zinkus (Boston, MA). The Zinkus' journey began with a flight to Seattle, WA. They then traveled through Whidbey Island to Vancouver, B.C. From Vancouver, they boarded the Rocky Mountaineer Railroad train which took them through Kamloops, took a helicopter ride over glaciers near Banff and Lake Louise and ended in Calgary. "The train went over seven mountain ranges, across dozens of bridges, through tunnels including the spiral tunnel, across the Continental Divide, alongside numerous waterfalls, lakes and rivers," said Cathleen. "This was a trip of a life time and the pristine beauty of the area was astounding. The scenary, wildlife and engineering accomplishments of pioneering railroads were incredible."

Grand Arctic exploration cruise requires long sleeves

Don and Terry Wear of Lakeland sported their long sleeves everywhere they went June 29 through July 13 on their Grand Arctic exploration cruise up the Norwegian coast line. The Wear's trip on the Crystal Symphony began in Copenhage, Denmark. They sailed to Longyearbyen, stopping in Trondheim, Honningsvag, Alesund, Olden, Bergen and ending in Dover England where they caught their flight home. They are pictured in the small town of Greiranger, Norway.

Conference takes Harnesses to Austria

Recently, Dottie and Parker Harness attended the sixth annual Imago Relationships International Conference in Vienna, Austria.  During the conference, therapists and their partners learned relationship skills, as well as how to cope with a car full of therapists on a giant Ferris wheel.  The Harnesses are pictured on the Riesenrad, a historic landmark in Prater Park in Vienna.

Foshee's spend 20th wedding anniversary in Paris

Jon and Dina Foshee of Germantown celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary this June by spending a week in scenic Paris, France. They took long romantic walks along the beautiful Seine River, enjoyed French cuisine and visited attractions such as Notre Dame (pictured), the Eiffel Tower, Versailles, the Louvre, Arc de Triomphe, Mus’ee d’Orsay, Jardin des Tuileries, the Pantheon and many others.

Uh-oh.

I’m not sure I like where this is headed.

On Tuesday night, the Los Angeles City Council put a ban on new fast food restaurants in one of the city’s impoverished southern neighborhoods.

Then yesterday, Dunkin’ Donuts announced plans to start serving some healthier menu options, like egg-white flatbread sandwiches, at its restaurants across the country.

(As Homer Simpson would say: "Mmmm. Egg-white flatbread sandwiches….")

Clearly, if there’s a healthy eating craze sweeping the nation, the consequences here in Memphis could be quite dire.

How dire?

Imagine next year’s Memphis in May barbecue cooking contest, only with smoked turkey instead of pork.

It could happen.

Earlier this week, I interviewed 13-year old Corry Coats Jr., AKA Young Phenomenon, as he rode back to Memphis from Houston, Tex., where his father lives and runs a recording studio.

This Friday, Coats is appearing onstage at the Mud Island Amphitheater as part of the First Annual Let the Kids Grow Day, co-sponsored by the Heal the Hood Foundation of Memphis and the P. Miller Foundation. The event is FREE — and Percy “Master P” Miller, his son Romeo, and Heal the Hood founder LaDell Beamon expect to give away FREE school supplies to a full-capacity crowd of 5000.

Finally, a positive event for urban Memphis.

Please come out and show your support for a great cause. Venerable character actor Morgan Freeman, Memphis Mayor Willie Herenton, Memphis City Schools superintendent Kriner Cash, local dance troupe Watoto de Afrika, and Master P, his son Romeo, and P. Miller mascot Gee Gee the Giraffe are expected to attend.

Go here for the rest of the story. To learn more about Coats’ career, watch the video below.