I had another one of those choke-on-my-coffee moments as I was reading this morning’s newspaper.

In a story about the arrest of four suspects believed to have broken into Police Director Larry Godwin’s truck, police officials were saying they didn’t handle the investigation any differently than they would have handled any other reported car burglary.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

According to our story, police used fingerprint evidence to help make the arrests.

Well, I’ve had my car broken into four times in the 10 years I’ve lived in Memphis.

And let me tell you, it’s a struggle just to convince the police to actually come to the crime scene to take a report.

My experience has been that they would much rather handle that kind of grunt work over the phone.

(To be fair, I can’t discount the possibility that they referred my cases to a psychic, who could be working them right now.)

And if they do send someone out, you’re about as likely to get your car dusted for fingerprints as Mayor Willie Herenton is to win Miss Congeniality in this year’s Miss America pageant.

In fact, I'll give a free Commercial Appeal umbrella or coffee mug (even if I have to steal my boss' umbrella) to anyone not affiliated with Memphis city government or any Shelby County law enforcement agency who can provide me a copy of a police report that shows police dusted for fingerprints on a car burglary case.