Free Range Kids - would you let your kid have free range?
Posted by Alex McPeakApril 13th, 2008
Would you let your kid walk from midtown to the University of Memphis area? How about from Bartlett to Cordova? I’m not talking about small children; I’m talking about pre-teens, 9, 10, 11, and 12-year-olds.
Aside from the trouble with finding good sidewalks that one could use (or public transit for that matter), do you trust your child to walk home from school? To walk to the store, which outside of Midtown, is probably miles away from your house? Say you live in the Evergreen district near North Parkway and Avalon, would you let your 10-year-old walk to the Schnuck’s on Union?
Lenore Skenazy, a writer for The New York Sun, gave her son $20, some quarters for phone calls a subway map, and a MetroCard, and left him at the Bloomingdale’s in Manhatten. The purpose was so he could find his own way home, which he did. Apparently he is begging her to let him walk from Queens to Manhatten next. Read about her experience, both with her son and the reaction from parents to her piece, here.
Understand a few things about the author of this post. First, I have no children. Second, I was definitely NOT a Free Range Kid, though many of my friends were. My parents would not let me ride my bike from our house in Ellendale to the Bartlett library, which is about 3 miles away (this was before Kirby-Whitten connected St. Elmo with Stage). They barely let me drive to and from work and when I was 16.
My father grew up in the country. He distrusted the city and always had plans to return to the country where he grew up, though the field where he was raised is is now a thriving shopping center in Millington.
My mother grew up in the inner city and fears just about everything. Like many people I meet from the suburbs, she has a disproportionate fear of the inner city. She also fears the houses in remote places like Tipton County and North Mississippi.
I live off Union Avenue, across from Starbucks, about 3 miles from the Commercial Appeal. I don’t lock my doors, even though a girl was mugged in the parking lot next to my apartment building and my stereo was stolen from my car in the same lot. My philosophy has been that if someone wants something badly enough, they will get it or at least try. My driver side window was shattered and another car stereo was stolen out of my car in broad daylight at my other job in Hickory Hill.
But this is about children, about which I cannot speak. I think my philosophy about my own life would carry over to how I raise my children, but I’m not sure. The person who sent me the Free Range Kids link will not let her 11-year-old go very far in her neighborhood south of the U of M, but pretty much lets her roam where she wants in Collierville, as long as she stays in touch.
Let me say one other thing about crime. With very few exceptions, every person I know who has been a victim of some kind of crime was victimized by someone they knew. I have friends that were molested by friends of the family, beaten by boyfriends, robbed by acquaintances. Lots of violent crime is perpetrated by people near and dear to us, not necessarily by strangers lurking in the shadows.
All of this is to say, I know the world is a dangerous place, but it’s not as dangerous as some would have us believe. With all this in mind, would you let your child walk to the store, school, library or mall? Post your reply to the comments and let me know.
April 13th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
I believe it is important for parents to teach their children to be independent. There is such a culture of fear in society - about everything. Children can’t eat snow (bacteria), or lemons in a restaurant (fecal matter), play in the rain ( acid)… the list could go on and on. Sure, it’s a little scary to let my child walk my 90 pound dog down the block by herself so close to the ‘hood, but she’s a responsible child. She’s watchful. She’s alert. I don’t want her to be afraid to walk outside. The neighbors know her. They look out for her. I let her stay home by herself while I run a quick errand. I let her ride her bike to friends’ houses. When I was a kid I was gone on weekends from sunup to sundown, never checking in with my parents. No such thing as a cellphone, and my parents would never have let me have one anyway. I never wore a bike helmet. I rode in the back of a pickup truck. Yes, it’s a scary world out there; but it can be made so much scarier when you shelter a child too much. They need to have a chance to play, to explore, to get into a little trouble and learn from it. As a parent you want to always protect your child, but don’t fool yourself that you are doing them any favor by sheltering them from LIFE. Break the culture of fear….