Roller Derby Update

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If you haven’t been paying attention, the Memphis Roller Derby season is in its final stretch, with just one match remaining before the playoffs. Don’t miss the Aug. 18 doubleheader pitting the Legion of Zoom against the PrissKilla Prezleys, and the Women of Mass Destruction against the Angels of Death. I’ll have more details about that soon.

In this past weekend’s competition, the Angels of Death appear to have taken the Legion of Zoom behind the woodshed. Here’s the official match recap from MRD HQ.

With the grace and speed of a skilled running back, the jammer in black slipped past the defenders of the Legion of Zoom untouched. Then she did it again and again and again and again. In just one two-minute jam, Lil’ Cinner of the Angels of Death put an astonishing 20 points on the scoreboard early in the first period of the July 28th bout at the Collierville FunQuest.

It was a new record for a single jam in the inaugural season of Memphis Roller Derby and more points than the Legion of Zoom would score in the entire 20-minute period.

MRD announcer Doc Derby called the feat “unbelievable.”

The Angels of Death continued to pile on the points, building a lead that proved insurmountable as the team won 181-56 over the Legion of Zoom and improved to 5-0 for the season.

The Z-Girls fell to 2-3 and into a second-place tie with the Women of Mass Destruction.

After the bout, Lil’ Cinner, the top jammer in MRD, was modest about her accomplishment, saying she wants skaters across the country to know about MRD.

“I’m having the time of my life,” she added.

Lil’ Cinner wasn’t the only jammer for the AODs who exploded against the Z-Girls.

In one jam in the second period, Gwen Reaper put 9 points on the board. Then in the third period, Wheelie Wonka scored 12 points in a jam and Memphomaniac amassed13 points in another.

Despite the margin of victory for the AODs, the Legion of Zoom played tough until the final buzzer. With Machine Gun Kelly out of town, the Legion of Zoom was short a jammer. As a result, Z-Girl blockers Angelina Rolie, Envie, Moxie Dynamite and Robin n’ Stealin’ joined Rolls Royce and Kel Diabla in the jammer rotation. And getting through the AODs’ wall of blockers was no easy task.

Still, since the WMDs scored just 12 points against the AODs in a two-period bout on May 26, the Z-Girls were happy to score 56. “The object of our game was to put as many points on the board as we possibly could,” said Coach Whorecules, who praised her team for doing a better job working together to usher the jammer through the pack. “We played more like a team than we ever have.”

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